My Primary Approach
IFS or “Parts Work”
You've probably used parts language without ever thinking about it.
Part of me wants to do this, but another part really doesn't.
I know logically that I'm okay, but part of me is still scared.
Internal Family Systems, or IFS, gives us a way to become curious about those different parts of you and understand what may be happening inside.
You don't need to know anything about IFS, or think of yourself as having "parts," for us to work this way. IFS is flexible, so I use whatever language feels natural and makes sense to you.
Most of us have something we wish we could just stop doing, thinking, or feeling. Maybe you react more strongly than you want to or you keep ending up in the same pattern, even though you understand it and want something different.
It makes sense to want it to stop, or to try to push through when you feel stuck. But forcing your way past a reaction rarely works for long.
IFS starts from a different assumption: these reactions often have a reason for being there, even when they're causing problems. When we get curious about that reason, we have something we can actually work with, and that's often where more lasting change begins.
Why Get Curious Instead of Just Making It Stop?
What Does Parts Work Look Like?
We start by noticing what's happening inside you.
You might already be aware of a thought, an emotion, a physical sensation, or an internal reaction. We slow down and explore it together, asking questions and paying attention to what you notice.
We don't assume we know why those things are present. We take time to find out.
For example, we might use your imagination to give your worry a personality or an image. Personifying the worry creates a little separation between you and what you're experiencing. That separation allows for more clarity.
You might recognize, "I know logically there's nothing I need to be worried about, but my worry keeps telling me I NEED to be worried."
Now we have something to explore. What is the worry so concerned about? What does it believe might happen if it stopped worrying? Why does it seem so important to keep you on alert?
What Do We Do With What We Discover?
Understanding why something is happening is important, but understanding alone doesn't always change it.
Sometimes, as we explore, we discover that the worry is connected to something that happened in the past and a fear of experiencing it again. Other times, we may discover that the worry is more about uncertainty, what might happen, and whether you'd be able to handle it.
What we do next depends on what we discover.
We might work through experiences from the past that are still affecting you today. We might explore the fears surrounding something that hasn't happened, including what makes the possibility feel so threatening.
Rather than simply trying to convince yourself there's nothing to worry about, we work with the experiences, fears, and beliefs that are contributing to the worry. As those begin to change, your relationship with the worry can change too. It may become easier to recognize when there's something that genuinely needs your attention and when worry is taking over.
Curious About How This Might Work for You?
A free 15-minute consultation is a good opportunity to ask questions about IFS and how we might use this approach to work with whatever you're struggling with.
You don't need to understand parts work before we begin. We can talk about what you're experiencing and whether this approach might be a good fit for you.